It’s giving, “existential poetry,” zero aura points

♫ You know I stay fresh to death ♫

To quote Nathan Hurst in our Rock M Slack channel:

Looks like they blew their uni reveal budget in the first three weeks

Aside from that, though, I’m a fan! All-whites, the first appearance of the Block M. 10/10

• History lesson about Josh: Back when I was a know-nothing, shitty teenager, I made it a point to tell anyone and everyone how much I loathed Emily Dickinson’s poetry. My English teachers must have hated me, and I honestly wouldn’t have blamed them. Now that I’m a know-nothing, shitty adult, I still don’t love the work of the celebrated American poet, but I’m wise enough to recognize the impact she had on modern poetry and the place she holds in the history of American literature. Anyway, she was an Amherst native and citizen for the entirety of her life! Sorry, Emily, I hope this makes up for all the times I bad-mouthed you in high school.
• Don’t be a hater, vote for Nader! Amherst was one of a few places in the United States that had a higher vote percentage for Ralph Nader in the 2000 election than George W. Bush.
• Did you know UMass is #1 in the country for dining? Or at least that’s what their website claims, which is frankly a wild thing to advertise on your website with no citations. No. 1 according to whom? No. 1 in the country for dining in what category? I understand that college marketing is steeped in half-truths, but this feels like something that needs to be interrogated.
• This week in “Notable Alumni from… I have so many options to choose from! Do you want the best fictional president of all-time? Do you want a Nobel Prize winner? Do you want a funny… oh wait, no, he’s cancelled!

I’m going to choose to spotlight legendary blues singer Taj Mahal, one of America’s most underrated talents of the last century.

Rock M-ixology

One of my great regrets this season is the missed opportunity I had against Boston College. If you recall, I had a series of gastrointestinal crises that coincided with Mizzou’s unconvincing stretch against the Eagles and Vanderbilt which left me unable to consume any beverage that wasn’t either hydrating me or sating my rapidly collapsing digestive tract.

I’d decided early on that Mizzou’s game against BC was the perfect opportunity to make one of my favorite, basic drinks, a classic Boston Sour. It’s just a whiskey sour with an egg white, which is fundamental enough that some people wouldn’t think of drinking a whiskey sour without the foaming element. But here we are, in week 7 and no Boston Sours having been consumed.

I decided to put a little Amherst spin on the Boston Sour recipe, but when I googled “Amherst Sour” I learned that there’s already a “grassy, tropical” depressant that boasts that name. That’s a whole different column that I haven’t cleared with editorial yet, though…

Anyway, I took the “grassy, tropical” cue and decided to swap out the base spirit for my favorite South American liquor, Cachaça, to create my best approximation of what an Amherst Sour cocktail would be. It’s essentially just a Cachaça Sour. So let’s make it!

2 oz Cachaça, 0.75 oz fresh lime juice, 0.5 oz rich or simple syrup, 0.5 egg white or foaming agent

Add ingredients to cocktail shaker. Dry shake for 10-15 seconds. Add ice and shake until chilled. Strain into chilled rocks glass over ice.

I ended up going with rich syrup, but I think I’d swap that out for simple next time around. But other than that, this was a perfect weeknight drink. It was sweet and tart, but not too boozy. Sometimes you don’t need a ton of analysis; it was just a very good drink that I’d recommend you make! “Oh, but I don’t have Cachaça,” relax, you can find it at almost liquor retail store. Don’t be lazy, give yourself the best!

It’s been a week since the crushing disappointment of the Texas A&M game. Have the bad feelings worn off yet, or are they still lingering for you?

Josh Matejka, Deputy Site Manager: I think any bad feelings about the game have transitioned from frustration to curiosity. I wrote earlier in the season that Mizzou needed to face some adversity if it wanted to be the best version of itself, though I didn’t anticipate it would be quite that extreme going into the A&M game. Drinkwitz and the team have said all the right things this week — accountability, responding, etc. — and it does feel noteworthy that Drinkwitz’s teams have generally gotten stronger as the season rounds into the latter half. I don’t think there’s a lot that can be done this weekend to stem the “overrated” narrative, but I’m at least feeling good that history suggests Mizzou isn’t quite finished.

Chad Moller, Semi-Professional Writer/Podcaster: Still there, thanks for asking. I’ve always felt like if you’re going to lose, you might as well get your ass kicked. It’s easier to move past as opposed to a tight game that came down to a fluke play or a missed call or just flat out bad luck – those are the ones you can’t let go. However, this one lingers with me more than a normal blowout because I really thought this program was past laying this big of an egg. I’m not going to over react and think that’s who we actually are, BUT it’s got me wondering now if Mizzou is closer to an 8-4 team rather than the 10-2 or 11-2 team we all had hopes of coming into the season.

Quentin Corpuel, Football Beat Writer: I’m in the same boat as Josh when it comes to curiosity. The only thing that’s lingering for me is how badly Mizzou got beat by a team who appears to be in the same class the Tigers was supposed to be in. It was apparent early on that Mizzou was getting overwhelmed, which didn’t happen at all last season even in the losses to LSU and Georgia. These final seven games will be a reminder that history doesn’t remember who got knocked down; it remembers who got up and, to a lesser extent, who stayed down.

Sammy Stava, Staff Writer: It’s still annoying how poorly they played — especially coming off the bye week, but in the end, it’s one bad game. It’s over now and you just have to flush it and move on. One loss doesn’t have to define a season, but it will be interesting to see how Mizzou responds from here.

We’ve made a lot of the fact that Mizzou is traveling to UMass in a “why is this game being played” manner. So I suppose we should address the question… why is this game being played?

Josh Matejka: The only real reason I can think of, aside from the legal implications of cancelling a game like this, is that Drinkwitz thought Mizzou might be in this scenario. You’re coming off a road trip to one of the toughest venues in the country, possibly with your first loss of the season. So why not take a week to get some real game reps in and reset with a win on the board? I don’t think it’s the worst idea in the world, though it does seem strange to drop a trip to Amherst this far into the season.

Chad Moller: Scheduling non-conference games is an inexact science. Unfortunately, when this game got scheduled, Mizzou was in scramble mode and had very little leverage, so there were external factors that led to this game. While I’m not going to call anyone out specifically, I will say that the administration that booked this one didn’t handle it well. If they thought they’d be able to buy out of this game, or pay to move it to CoMo, I get that strategy, but when UMass refused, then it was a failed strategy that’s left the current program in a no-win situation. The whole thing is unfortunate.

Quentin Corpuel: Because the East Coast is awesome, obviously.

Sammy Stava: I have no answer for it. I could understand if this was a Week 1 or Week 2 game, but in the middle of the season is just … odd. At the very least, UMass is an FBS team? They might as well be FCS though. The better question is how did this game get televised on ESPN2?

It’s hard to look at this as a potential “get right” game considering how poor UMass has been so far. But in an ideal world, what does a bounce back performance look like for the Tigers in Amherst?

Josh Matejka: Obviously a blow-out win is the only thing that will sate Tiger fans who are still frothing from the trip to College Station. Specifically though, I really need to see Brady Cook have a good game. Not just clean and efficient, but dangerous and explosive. Part of what has made Cook so effective has been his ability to play smart and protect the ball, but there’s margin for error against a team like UMass. Hit some deep passes, take some risks in the middle of the field, revive the QB running game. It feels like the Tigers have been shielding Cook from making mistakes thus far, and it came back to bite them against A&M. Time to take off the speed governor and let him go. At the very least, Cook will be able to work out some wrinkles and get his confidence back ahead of Auburn.

Chad Moller: I want to see the defense play with their hair on fire after getting pantsed at A&M. I want to see the offense begin to establish an identity. To me that’s the biggest question about the offense – who are they trying to be?

Quentin Corpuel: In the most ideal world, Mizzou would totally eviscerate UMass and become the sixth SEC team to beat an opponent by at least 60 points this season. While the Minutemen have capable weapons, including quarterback Taisun Phommachanh, the Tigers should be able to roll — on paper, at least. Mizzou has yet to play a game where both the offense and defense were dominant since Week 1. Another performance like that in Amherst would, at the very least, prove that there is elite life on the team.

Sammy Stava: This game pretty much needs to be a blowout, and Missouri needs to find an identity heading into the second half of the season. It also wouldn’t hurt if we get to see the second and third string players in the second half.

PICK ‘EM! Mizzou is about a four touchdown favorite and needs some good juju. What do you think? Do they get back to covering ways?

Josh Matejka: I think so! Look, I understand the frustration and the “MIZZOU ISN’T EVEN TOP 25” rampages that erupted after last weekend. This is still a good Mizzou team with a lot of talent, certainly enough talent to sleepwalk through a trip to UMass. But I think there will be some extra motivation to have a clear, focused response to last weekend’s loss. I don’t know that we’ll see a “sharper” Tiger team than we’ve seen so far, but I think they’re going to be determined to make a statement. I’m expecting a blowout, maybe one unlike we’ve seen in the Drinkwitz era. Anger can do things to you!

Chad Moller: This one will be all about internal drive. An 11 am sleepy time kickoff at a small stadium with likely very little crowd will feel like a scrimmage. I feel like the Tigers could sleep walk through this one and never be in trouble of losing, but for cryin’ out loud, let’s have some pride and come out with a crisp, clean, efficient, business-like performance. That’s what I’m hoping to see, and if they do just that, I’m thinking Mizzou rolls in a 42-13 type of outing.

Quentin Corpuel: I’ll go with a final score of 45-13. I think UMass will be able to string together a small handful of sustained offensive drives, but I have a hard time believing that the same team who outlasted Central Connecticut State can remain competitive with an SEC team, albeit one who’s fallen short of expectations so far.

Sammy Stava: If it means anything in this game, Missouri returns to form like they did against Murray State and Buffalo and beats an inferior opponent with ease. I’ll go with 35-3.